Emails from a Frazzled Mum

Well, there has been drama, tears and someone left her husband… again none of it me…

My little sister lobbed up on our doorstep with her 3 kids… ok, she has left her husband… ok,  he was substandard anyway…  and by the way… here is her new boyfriend… WOW!!

I have to tell you, how amazing are people, the capacity to change is enormous and yet we spend our time holding onto our limitations, I am not talking physical, although they are a product of the psyche, not what you are born with but what you do with it, I am talking about  the ability to STOP SMOKING ONCE YOU DECIDE IT IS TIME.  or to clean the house in 15 minutes because you just got that phone call from the in laws or a particulariy fastidious Aunt just wants to pop in.

It is always amazing how under the right constraints we can do anything and achieve goals rapidly and with seemingly little effort on our part, like looking back after you have finished this years tax and saying to youself… well, that was easier than I thought!!

Did Leomardo di vinci have self doubt? he probably did, but it cetainly was not apparent in his work, did Mozart hear horrible music in his head? and if he did, did he choose to re write it as he went along?

It is apparent that our internal beliefs effect our lives and our appearances, the way we inteact with the world and the way in which we see the world from our own point of view,

A really good friend of mine looked at a note that I was stressing about and saw that there was no malice in it, only my (ridiculously) jaded thoughts gave it a different twist it is something that we all do every day… look through our own reality bubble, time for me to join others so that I can help them change the shape of their bubble and redecorate it a little.

hugs

Mel

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 Will email soon

Been quite busy and also unwell

Health is important

look after youself so that you can look after others

Mel

I have a twitter account and have been puttign prile drivel on it… the day to day meanderings of a fecless mind wanding hither and yon… drivel… pure drivel… not like this well thought out prose

.. sorry

Mel

There is nothing that can withstand sustained and focused thought and action, when all the parts of your body and mind are in agreement “things” happen, almost by magic, and ideas pop into your head from time to time to help you along and the universe starts showing you a path for the way there.

First, you need to know where there is….

When you want to achieve something, write it down, give it form and dates and specifics, write it nicely and look at it every day, say it to yourself and discuss it with others, first instruct them to just listen and act interested without comment, because when you are specific, you can get the results that you actually want.

“I want to be rich “is not specific, neither is “I want to be happy”, how? where? when? with whom? how many times?  is it spiritually? financially? emotionally? in your family life?

when we state WHAT WE ACTUALLY WANT, then the subconscious mind goes out and comes up with ideas and impulses to get it!

So get specific and GO FOR IT!!!

MEL

What can you be specific about today?

It always amuses me that the money market is on the tv and radio when the real action is on the floor at the early morning  fruit and veggie markets

This morning I got up at 7am and went to the fruit and veggie markets, if you want to know about a city, find their big fruit and veg market and  observe the people, they are fascinating and you get to see an interesting cross section.
When a stall holder is standing quietly and looking sullen.. guess what? no sales..  and right next to them when you see stall holders smiling an chatting away happily to all and sundry, the sales are always more, I was particularily beguiled by a young boy who sold me a pumpkin… he would have been 8, same age as dreamer(who I left at home to watch cartoons with his dad) and he was hard at work on the front of the stall charming, actually flirting with the customers, his dad was there and his older brothers and they all had amazingly personable attitudes, walking past them you could feel the energy.

People reach out for attention, they crave it and when you give it to them even as a smile or nod then they feel worthwhile, the fact that we all have something to contribute is merely by the by, actual attention can make the difference in a persons life.

Try making eye contact and smiling more… and notice you feel so much better when you do!!

Mel

What sort of goals do you have, on your deathbed, what do you want to look back on and smile about?

Most people have a daily plan, get out of bed, oblutions, eat, work, buy stuff, go home eat sleep repeat for the next 85 years.

On a grander scale, what do you want to achieve with your life? for many years I did not know that I could control my destiny, just by thought and the littlest bit of action, the compounding effect is a marvellous thing to appreciate, change one thing in your life for the better every day, no matter how small and find out how quickly your life moves in a pore positive direction for you, it can begin with an affirmation, or a stretch in the morning as you wake up and decide to FEEL BETTER about your job, spouse, future.

When we have a life theme we tend to always edge towards it, mine is helping people like themselves a little more..
what is yours?

Mel

Have you ever noticed that some people “thrive under pressure” and constantly wear their shoulders around their ears?

By choosing to distract a stress cadet  towards something more relaxing gets their serotonin levels up and their cortisol levels down, this in turn allows clearer and more balanced thinking of a problem.

Perhaps a pattern break joke, a question about when was their best holiday?  or faveourite time of year? what do they like the most about it? what are the sights, sounds and sensations that really get them feeling great?

This will send them on an internal hunt for happiness, and when you notice that they are ‘there’, anchor the happy feeling with a tap, a sound, the word “great” with your voice and then you can move them into a better place to be more easily.

Mel

The boffins at Columbia university in New York (yes, that one) have discovered that exercise has a direct link to memory retention (and as the rest of us mental health people know, endorphins and seratonin… mmmmmm) so good feeling all around, this is a quick one because I am off for a brisk walk so that I can remember…. uuuuhh…. something

Basically, after noticing the change in mice they took a bunch of healthy people and got them to exercise more regularly for 3 month, this had a direct relationship to the blood flow in the brain… how cool is that!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070312/sc_nm/exercise_memory_dc_1

Be well

Mel

Here is a link

When looking for positive sayings to use for reinforcement and support it is best to avoid the “pollyanna” approach as that may come across as fake and then anything said after that will be automatically and subconsciously be discounted. or ignored

Of course it means we have to be alert to exactly how the other person is feeling about a situation and this is done by actually paying attention, noticing the flush of color in the face, or areas of the face, the body posture and facial reactions, not to mention the foot and hand movements.

Har nosed optimism is an interesting phrase, we have the ability to accept that a given situation is really challenging and summoning our own internal (and external ) resources,  it can be seen through

What interests me the most is that everything will pass… both the good and the bad

so a not so good day… that will pass into the past

and a really good day… that too will pass into the past

what matters is how we view these situations and happenings

One of my associates has a client that views all memeories through a light pink tint. this tell her that it is a memory and that there were good things to learn from it (and yes, this client had massive problems in their youth)

Caution… visualisation technique imminent!!

Imagine your timeline, like a piece of string, like the thought of your 5th birthday, which direction did it come from? then think about a future event… getting up tomorrow morning  notice where that came from

If we are talking timelines then someone who is in  time (almost always in the moment) has the past behind them, the future in front and the line passes through their body and we can tell them to gather all the learning that they can from this  situation and put that learning where they can use it well, acknowledge and release their (fears, neg emotions etc) and put thr issue behind them and notice how much brighter their future is  now.

Through time the path is right to left or left to right (usually disassociated) here and not here at the same time. The line passes outside of their body and they can “see” their entire life in one go, with all that information it is no wonder that they are dissassociated!!

We can tell them to see themselves improving at what they do and as they so searching for that meaning, they can remember a time when something was true and now it is not, finding the submodalities for that can then get them to where they want to be, using the keep the learning wording is great as well, because we can just move on (not forward) and up (if that is the submodality for the future)

To praise when someone deems it not worthy makes it hollow, and, where do you go from there? if you get Dorothy the Dinosaur  to come to their 3rd birthday party and they have gold crowns and a 5 star banquet, where do you go from there?

The beauty of kids is that they love to be encouraged, what exacly are we encouraging?

so think before we speak is the best idea,  pick something unusual to compliment people on, it means that you are noticing them.. and that is what we all want isn’t it?

Be well

Mel

In a recent study in the University of Sydney, there has been interesting work done onrice, apparently it encourages sleep if had 4 hours before bed!!

Te writing underneath has been taken directly from the uni website so it is all their work

The rice advice for sleep

16 February 2007

Hgh glycemic index rice may boost tryptophan and serotonin, two brain chemicals involved in sleep, Dr Chow said

A meal of starchy rice four hours before bedtime may solve your insomnia problems, new research from the University of Sydney has found.

The University of Sydney’s Dr Chin Moi Chow and colleagues found that carbohydrates that quickly raise blood sugar (those with a high glycemic index) may hasten sleep.

The researchers studied 12 healthy men, 18-35 years old, who had no sleep problems. Over three nights at the researchers’ sleep lab they fasted for five hours before being served a meal.

The meal of rice with steamed vegetables in tomato puree varied only in the type of rice and serving time.

“Two of the meals included jasmine rice and were served one hour before bedtime and four hours before bedtime respectively,” said Dr Chow. “The third meal, which included a type of long-grain rice that was low in glycemic index, was also served four hours before bedtime.”

Dr Chow and her colleagues altered the type of rice used in order to measure the effects of carbs with high and low glycemic indices. “Jasmine rice has a high glycemic index, while the long-grain rice we used in this study has a lower glycemic index,” Dr Chow said.

Dr Chow’s team changed the timing of the meal to see what impact that would have on sleeptime. The men were free to go to bed whenever they wanted; the researchers timed how long it took the men to fall asleep once in bed.

Eating the jasmine rice meal four hours before bedtime proved to be the best way to hasten sleep: the men fell asleep after nine minutes, on average, that night. It took nearly 15 minutes, on average, to fall asleep after eating the jasmine rice meal one hour before bedtime.

The men were slowest to fall asleep after eating the long-grain rice meal four hours before bedtime – taking nearly 18 minutes, on average, to fall asleep. The study, recently published in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition*, found the meals had no other observable effect on the men’s sleep.

Dr Chow’s team doesn’t know exactly how carbs with a high glycemic index affect sleep. “These kinds of foods may boost tryptophan and serotonin, two brain chemicals involved in sleep”, Dr Chow said. Adding protein to the meal might change the results, she added.

Dr Chow and her team plan to carry out further studies this year. “We are fine-tuning the meal contents and meal sizes so they are suitable for everybody, including diabetics, whilst still helping people to fall asleep.”

* Afaghi, A., O’Connor H, Chow CM. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, February 2007; Vol. 85: pp. 426-430.