Emails from a Frazzled Mum

Date: Thu, 11 Jan 2001 16:07:10 +1100.
To: dudes.
From: Melinda.
Subject: [dudes] goodies and baddies.
Sender: owner-dudes.
Precedence: bulk.
Reply-To: dudes.

We went to the North Sydney noodle market last Friday evening and it was *Fabulous*, last time we went there, Matthew and I were still courting and only had eyes for each other.

This time…. There is a truely enormous playset for oh, about 80 kids to play on at once and the whole play area is a huge sandpit!

The band played a nice mix of Jazz, top 40 and quite a rousing version of Dorothy the Dinosaur(Wiggles) and the Hokey Pokey

There was about 1000 people there at the most and everyone was on there picnic blankets drinking and relaxing whilst the children ran wild about them.

Jackson pulled a swifty on a bunch of much larger kids on the playset, he was waiting at the top of a really big slide with a large group of 5-8YO’s in front of him stuffing around and not sliding on the slide, Jackson stepped back and called out ‘LOOK OUT, THE BADDIES ARE COMING’, the other kids visibly freaked, then vanished into thin air Jackson calmly sat down on the slide and had his turn……

A truely gifted child I just hope when he grows up he uses his powers for good and not evil ;->

Mel

- isn’t that cruel to the chickens?

~ ~ The dudes list. ~ A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, ~ with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla. ~

Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2000 13:06:26 +1100
To: dudes
From: Mel
Subject: [dudes] no nookie here
Sender: owner-dudes
Reply-To: dudes

as parents, we knew this day would come but one is truely never prepared for it!

we were sprung,

1am this morning Jackson comes barelling into our bedroom laughing his head off because he thought Matthew and I were “jumping” on the bed.

I’ve gotta tell you. it *really* kills the mood when Matthew stops,looks up and says ‘Hello Jackson’

Ah denial, thou art my greatest friend

mel

- Sanity is not an issue

~ ~ The dudes list.
~ A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention,
~ with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla. ~

Date: Thu, 9 Nov 2000 16:21:19 +1100
To: dudes
From: Mel
Subject: had to share

Yesterday, Jackson said his first swear word, using it properly and everything (I am driving home from Carlingford)

Jackson: Mummy, I would like to stop for something to eat

Melinda: We’ll have something when we get home

Jackson: I WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT

Melinda: No darling, we will have something when we get home

Jackson: SHIT

Melinda: Pardon!?!

Jackson: Nothing

Melinda: What did you say?

Jackson; (mumbling, very quietly) is said shit

Melinda: (stern voice) please do not say that rude word

Jackson: sh sh sh sh shh shhhhhh sssshhhhhhh

Melinda: No Jackson

Jackson: IT IT IT IT IT IT! (this continues for a while, and I ignore it)

Jackson: Mummy, can we stop and get a happy meal?

Melinda: No, we will have something when we get home

Jackson: GODDAM IT!

I’m left speechless.

Same day

Last night Jackson was playing with the flour sifter (the girls will know what that is) anyway, after he had finished and while I was preparing dinner he requested that we make yogurt so we had quite a long discussion about that and made yogurt in our easyo yogurt maker.

A little while after this Jackson was sitting on the kitchen floor playing with Aubrie, he looked up at me with his innocent face full of inquisitive enthusiasm and asked “Mummy, how do you fist yogurt?”.

Jackson got the shock of his life when I laughed so hard my coffee came out my nose.

Mel

To: tractor
From: Mel
Subject: parents, who'd be one?

On Friday night we saw ‘The Dish’, Matthew and I have not gone out for a looooong time and I really wanted to see this movie.

So, we used the age old convention of the drive in (a strategy used by many parents I have noticed), Jackson set a new world record for constant talking and bathroom requirements and Aubrie was generally unsettled,

Hmmm, there must be something to that extended family thing, someone else can look after the kids while the frazzled parents can just walk away for a minute.

Dont know how our parents did it without going *completely* nuts

Melinda

A big day today, Aubrie tried to feed herself with a spoon. She is 10 months old – this is excitement in the world of a Frazzled Mom.